One Year diagnosis Anniversary
A year ago today, our world changed. A year ago today, we received a life changing diagnosis. A year ago today, Noella was diagnosed with 18q-.
I can’t believe it’s been a year. It simultaneously feels like we found out yesterday and like we’ve known forever. It’s hard to remember what life was like before we had a diagnosis. It’s hard to remember what life was like before all the doctors and tests and appointments. It’s hard to remember what life was like before everything became uncertain.
It’s also hard to remember what life was like before we had knowledge of how truly special she was. What life was like before we found peace. What life was like before we learned to trust the Lord and give ourselves, and her, over to Him completely.
Noella has grown so much in a years time. Her progress is slow but miraculous. And the waiting is hard but so rewarding. And God has taught us so much this year. He is working in her and through her, and He has made us better people and better parents just the same. He has molded our hearts to fit her needs. He has led us to community that knows the reality of our situation deeper than others possibly could. He intricately designed her for us, and us for her. How miraculous is that? How rewarding is that?
In a year, our lives have changed. And I would say for the better. There is nothing more special than this girl. Nothing stronger, nothing more brave. Nothing that will ever teach or touch the deepest depths of my heart and soul the way she has. The way being her mom has. It hasn’t always been easy, in fact some days are quite hard.
Some days it still fills my heart with pain and anxiety over how much harder her life is. Some days I feel like pulling my hair out because of the difficulties that come with being a special needs mom. Some days the stares, the questions, the comments hit deeper than they should. But the hard days are slowly becoming fewer and farther apart, and the good days are so good. And I remind myself that even when life isn’t how I planned it to be, God is good and His plan is perfect.
Noella’s diagnosis will never define her but it will always be a part of her. We have committed ourselves to refusing any limitations and relinquishing all expectations. Instead, we choose to embrace who she is, who God designed her to be, and take life with her one day at a time. Her diagnosis has taught us more than I could ever imagine and I’m so thankful for the growth in her and the growth in us over the past year.
